DeLay

Tom "The Hammer" Delay announced yesterday that he will end his reelection bid and step down from congress soon. The following is a brief list of Delay quotes with helpful translations.

DeLay: "I refuse to allow liberal Democrats an opportunity to steal this seat with a negative personal campaign,"
Translation: "I'm giving up and letting some other poor SOB try to win my seat."

DeLay: "It's time for me to go do something else,"
Translation: "I've run out of political options and will become a lobbyist if they let me."

DeLay: "I think I could have won the seat but it would have been nasty and cost a fortune to do it,"
Translation: "There is no way I could have won the race. With recent scrutiny on my fundraising activities, illegal fundraising would be very difficult."

DeLay: "I feel kind of excited, frankly,"
Translation: "I'm kind of glad this embarrassing nightmare is over"

DeLay: "I'm looking forward to being liberated outside the House, doing whatever I can to unify the conservative cause."
Translation: "I'm looking forward to fading away into obscurity"

DeLay: "This is totally a political operation, using our criminal justice system for political purposes and political gain,"
Translation: "Those Liberal bastards are using my own tactics against me better than I could"

DeLay:"This is probably the worst day of his (Democratic opponent Nick Lampson) campaign because he knows that any Republican who replaces me on the ballot will win this seat."
Translation: "Despite my earlier statements, almost any Republican is more electable than my sorry ass"

Goodbye D-bag. Happy trails.